I used to hear this passage preached a lot at relationship conferences or those times when a pastor started a series on relationships and marriage in church on Sunday mornings. Overall, I understand the sacredness of the text and have always appreciated its context. While it’s a beautiful passage, in my experience the way it was preached has always been a little problematic to me. The subsequent teachings that followed were that men are supposed to seek out women. The words “thing” and “obtains” were generally emphasized when referring to this pursuit of women. I think the weight that has been placed on these themes preached from this text, have influenced the way men approach women in the pursuit of relationships.
So about a month ago a friend and I got into a debate on Twitter after he mentioned that a woman wanting to hyphenate her last name with her husband was a relationship deal-breaker for him.
Obviously I thought it was ridiculous, which was why we got into a debate over it. I couldn’t understand why something as frivolous as a name would cause him to throw out an entire relationship- especially if that relationship was a healthy one- all because she wanted to maintain an important aspect of her earlier identity.
“You are a creative, intelligent person with a very bright future ahead of you. Don’t feel bad about your decision. I’m proud of you and I know God is proud of you too.” Those are the exact words I spoke to a young woman a few weeks ago; and another a young woman a few […]
There is no such thing as “while you’re waiting.” Life does not begin AFTER you get married. Life begins right now. Don’t let it pass you by merely waiting.
Now is not the time to blame women or consistently accuse us of complaining, ranting and raving and hating men. For many of us that is not the case at all. It’s just that it takes a consistent movement of change in language, systems, traditions etc. to reverse a culture of patriarchy.